colleague?
"Hello, Jay? This is Alyssa? I need a favor from you?"
At the other end of the phone, the vocal pattern of the mouth-breathing "up-speaker" (one who speaks each statement as if it were a question) was disconcerting. I wasn't sure whether or not I needed to reassure the caller with a "yes" or "uhuh" at the end of each statement or just let her continue uninterrupted.
"Can you enter a few dates into the online calendar for me?"
Oh! A real question. Until she paused, I wasn't aware I needed to answer.
"Alyssa," I replied, "I've shown you how to use the database so that you can enter them yourself."
"Well, um, see?" She giggled nervously, "I'm not very good at computers?"
There was no question, actually, about her computer skills but this was not my responsibility. Alyssa is one of those privileged young women with a college degree, who is now in her "first" job just waiting to get married to a wealthy enough young man and get pregnant enough to quit and never have to work again. It is impossible to imagine how she was ever granted a graduate level degree in anything. The job she is currently in is way above her skill level, but in her own opinion way beneath her.
She is one of several twenty-somethings I encounter on a regular basis that fit into this category: privileged, educated, up-speaking, mouth-breathing, waiting to be a wife and a lady who lunches. Their signature trait is their vocal pattern, which mimics that of a junior high school girl with a mouthful of braces and endless insecurities. Each sentence ends with a question mark and is annunciated as if there are wads of cotton and metal in their mouths. It is as if they developed a way of speaking among their friends that never changed after the braces were removed. As hard as I try, it is impossible for me to take them seriously as professional women in conversations.
I don't know where we should start first, but I believe society owes a debt to these young women. I don't know if first they need to get a great big "stop it!" once they get past the age of 16 and then speech therapy. I'm not sure if they should get an "F" on their junior high term paper comparing Eleanor Roosevelt to Lindsay Lohan, or if we should wait until college when they skip the term papers all together because their sorority sister invited them to Turks and Caicos for a week.
However it happens, I believe society owes these chickpeas the truth: that they cannot be the junior high school princesses their entire lives? That they aren't as deserving as they think they are? And for heavens sake, if you want to be taken seriously by your colleagues, do something about that voice!
At the other end of the phone, the vocal pattern of the mouth-breathing "up-speaker" (one who speaks each statement as if it were a question) was disconcerting. I wasn't sure whether or not I needed to reassure the caller with a "yes" or "uhuh" at the end of each statement or just let her continue uninterrupted.
"Can you enter a few dates into the online calendar for me?"
Oh! A real question. Until she paused, I wasn't aware I needed to answer.
"Alyssa," I replied, "I've shown you how to use the database so that you can enter them yourself."
"Well, um, see?" She giggled nervously, "I'm not very good at computers?"
There was no question, actually, about her computer skills but this was not my responsibility. Alyssa is one of those privileged young women with a college degree, who is now in her "first" job just waiting to get married to a wealthy enough young man and get pregnant enough to quit and never have to work again. It is impossible to imagine how she was ever granted a graduate level degree in anything. The job she is currently in is way above her skill level, but in her own opinion way beneath her.
She is one of several twenty-somethings I encounter on a regular basis that fit into this category: privileged, educated, up-speaking, mouth-breathing, waiting to be a wife and a lady who lunches. Their signature trait is their vocal pattern, which mimics that of a junior high school girl with a mouthful of braces and endless insecurities. Each sentence ends with a question mark and is annunciated as if there are wads of cotton and metal in their mouths. It is as if they developed a way of speaking among their friends that never changed after the braces were removed. As hard as I try, it is impossible for me to take them seriously as professional women in conversations.
I don't know where we should start first, but I believe society owes a debt to these young women. I don't know if first they need to get a great big "stop it!" once they get past the age of 16 and then speech therapy. I'm not sure if they should get an "F" on their junior high term paper comparing Eleanor Roosevelt to Lindsay Lohan, or if we should wait until college when they skip the term papers all together because their sorority sister invited them to Turks and Caicos for a week.
However it happens, I believe society owes these chickpeas the truth: that they cannot be the junior high school princesses their entire lives? That they aren't as deserving as they think they are? And for heavens sake, if you want to be taken seriously by your colleagues, do something about that voice!
5 Comments:
Heh heh.
ha ha, so true.
OMG!! LMFAO, Jay! I HAD to forward this to my cousin, who is my favorite person to make fun of "up-speakers" with... He does a PERFECT impression of it and people who talk like that are a huge pet peeve for both of us.
I worked with a girl who talked like that when I lived in Houston and after a while I just couldn't help myself. Every time she'd say something with an upward inflection, I'd ask, "Is that a question?" and, OF COURSE, she's say, "Ummm, No?" with ANOTHER inflection to which I'd say "Is THAT a question?" She never caught on. Heh Heh Heh!(yes, I'm slightly evil and had SO much fun doing it!)
Sadly, in all of this, I've learned it doesn't take a 120 IQ to get a Master degree these days. Sometimes, I think it should.
Cheers Mate.
L
You're right. Absolutely. Remind me to stop saying "Duuude".
:)
The sad thing is that most of them WILL actually get to be junior high school princesses their entire lives. And I do not envy them that, Turks and Caicos or no.
Reecie
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